In the next three months Parliament is going to mess up the lives of thousands of people who are paying no attention. The law regarding personal relationships is about to undergo the biggest change in a century and anyone who isn’t married should pay attention.

The Civil Union Bill on its own will directly affect a few people who want to have a civil union. There is another piece of legislation called the Civil Union (Statutory References) Bill which will make a much bigger difference. This Bill is based on the theoretical idea that all relationships are the same. This bill will change provisions in dozens of different statutes to ensure all relationships carry the same rights and obligations.

It’s a theory because it flies in the face of reality. In reality people choose their level of commitment to a relationship. People tend to believe that the less commitment they make the less rights and obligations go with it. It’s not a tidy process. Children can show up unexpectedly when there was no serious relationship, or the partners might disagree about how committed each other should be. They may not agree that there is a serious relationship at all.

If the civil union bills are passed by parliament, there will be only one type of legal relationship, with one set of rights and obligations. The intention of the partners and their commitment to the relationship will be irrelevant. Thousands of people will find decisions on their commitment made for them by the government.

Traditionally the law has developed to deal with relationships differently in different contexts. By Christmas decades practical wisdom that reflects the way people live could be overturned. Next of kin relationships, spousal obligations, parental rights will all be affected.

One practical example is the way the law has dealt with eligibility for benefits. Married people are income tested against their joint income. WINZ apply the same income test to people who aren’t married but live in a relationship in the nature of marriage, so they can’t collect two single benefits. If people start living together this week, then they are meant to notify WINZ and they would move from two single rates of benefit to a couple rate.

If a couple is defined as living in a relationship for benefit purposes, WINZ treats them as if they are married. The Civil Union (statutory References) Bill treats all relationships the same, so once WINZ decides you are in a relationship, then you are in it for all legal purposes, just like a married couple.

The couple who have been shacked up for a few months will have the same rights and obligations as a couple married for 20 years with 4 children, or any other couple.

Now that might frighten a few off. People will have a simple choice - get together on the government’s terms, or don’t get together at all.